This post was written by Heather Seewald, Lead PC licensed clinical therapist, Park Center.
According to a recent report in the Indiana Capital Chronicle, using data from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention’s (CDC) 2023 Youth Risk Behavior Survey, 15.7% of Indiana high school students reported attempting suicide in the past year. As Suicide Awareness Month comes to a close, we focus on empowering loved ones of those struggling with suicidal thoughts or behaviors.
Getting it out in the open
First, let us dispel a myth about suicidal thoughts to help cope with the fears of discussing this difficult topic. Asking a person about suicide will not put the idea in their head or give them the idea.
Because of stigma and shame, it can be hard for people to tell others they are thinking about suicide. Therefore, talking about suicide openly is one of the most helpful things you can do. When someone you know is struggling with their mental health, asking them if they are thinking about suicide gives them the opportunity to open up and share their troubles. By talking about it, you can help them find solutions and save a life.
Know what you’re looking for
There is not one single cause for suicide, and mental health struggles don't always have the same outward appearance. Although you never need an excuse to check in with your loved ones, noticing changes in behavior can be a good reason to see if they are struggling. Here are some things to watch for:
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Impulsive behaviors or being more irritated than usual
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Not functioning like their usual selves, such as changes in how they dress or general appearance, as well as their eating or sleep habits.
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Talking about feelings of loneliness or despair
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Excessive worry
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Trouble concentrating
Initiating the conversation
When you see these or other signs, consider trying one of these opening statements to get the ball rolling:
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"Seems like you haven't been yourself lately. What's up?"
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"Are you OK? I've noticed you've been down lately."
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"Hey, we haven't really talked in a while. How are you?"
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"I know you are going through some stuff; I'm here for you."
Seize the Awkward is a national campaign led by the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP) and the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI). The initiative encourages open conversations around mental health and offers several examples for expressing concerns about someone’s mental health.
Asking and then actively listening shows your loved one they're not alone. You do not have to say much, but being there for them is truly helpful. Here are some other tips for creating an atmosphere that supports open communication:
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Give the person your full attention; do not attend to anything else while they talk.
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Take them seriously. They are in pain, and they need help.
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Listen and respond without judging them or making fun of them.
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Do not make any promises that you cannot keep. They need to trust you.
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Show that you understand that they have a serious problem. You should not give advice like "cheer up" or "pull yourself together."
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Remind the person that overwhelming or confusing feelings can be very normal.
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Do not minimize their feelings or compare their troubles with your own or anyone else's
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Ask specifically about feelings of wanting to die and suicide, such as:
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"Are you thinking about suicide or harming yourself?"
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"Have you thought about how you might do this?"
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"Have you thought about when you might do this?
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Tell them things like, "You are really important to me," or "I don't want you to die," or "Let me help you to find other solutions."
Asking for help
Sometimes, being there for others means recognizing our own capacity and limitations in providing help. There is no shame in reaching out to external resources for yourself or on behalf of someone you care about. Parkview Behavioral Health Institute offers many support services for those struggling with their mental health and their loved ones. These include:
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PBHI HelpLine is available day or night to answer questions, provide recommendations and help arrange care.
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QPR (Question, Persuade and Refer) Training is free to the public and teaches how to recognize the signs that someone is at risk of suicide, and connect them to the care they need.
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The Surviving Loss by Suicide support group is for the loved ones of a person who died by suicide.
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The SOS Program, the PBHI mobile crisis team, provides immediate assistance to individuals experiencing mental health or substance use crises.
Remember, you are not alone, and you can be the person to help someone else feel they matter in this world. Have the conversations, help others, save a life.
If you or anyone you know is in need of help, call the PBHI HelpLine at 260-471-9440 or 1-800-284-8439 to be connected to the SOS team or other services 24 hours a day, seven days a week.
Additional resources
Here are a few more local resources for both individuals struggling with a mental health crisis as well as their loved ones:
Stop Suicide of Northeast Indiana
Local Outreach to Suicide Survivor (LOSS) Team of Indiana
Teen Support Group for Survivors of Suicide Loss
We The Living Support Group for Adult Survivors of Suicide Loss
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